More Time Please.

Day 215
Another day, another dollar. Today is my 1,000th day with my boyfriend. When you look at the time we spent together like that it seems like a long time. I mean, there's only 30-31 days in a month. It's strange for me to be with someone for this long. You never realize it until you put a number to it. Right now, I am happy with my life. I feel somewhat empty on a personal level but it's something I'm going to have to deal with. I need to let go a huge chunk of my past and I find it difficult sometimes. I find myself in limbo sometimes, I'm happy but I'm not happy. I would hate for my boyfriend to think that it's something he's done. It's all me and I think that's why it's so difficult for me to cope with. I've never questioned myself so much in my life but recently I've tried to stop myself from double guessing myself and just going with the flow. I can see a future with this one but I guess I'm too scared to admit it sometimes. Maybe I just need more time. More days... happy 1,000th my love.