To love or not to love?

Ever since reading "Little Women" in college, I was always torn about the decision for Jo and Laurie to not end up together. Although Jo's character was always independent and carefree, I never imagined coming to the point in the book where she turned down Laurie. The chemistry between the two characters is undeniable and after all their bickering and what to me seemed like flirting, they only turned out to be friends. It makes me think about the men in my life who have become my friends. One in particular, who's mood and feelings toward me ruled my life. Now we consider each other friends but I can hardly see him in that light. Nor can I see him as a person of interest in my love life. It overwhelms me when I think about that situation because of all the promises and words that have been said between us. "Don't be a stranger" and the like... well, not that I'm counting, but it's been awhile since I've heard from him and I'm in no hurry to touch base with him first. My relationships with boys are just like Jo and Laurie... and the correlation makes me sad. On the surface it looks perfect, but underneath, it's not. But I guess that's life... and I think I should start respecting Jo's decision. After all, we can't all live in fantasy land....

Ala Moana Beach Park.

Today consisted of sitting around the apartment and hanging out with my boyfriend. We decided to head to the mall which is interesting because my boyfriend NEVER wants to take me to the mall. Usually it takes a lot of convincing. On the way to the mall I decided that we should stop by Ala Moana beach park. It's not the PRETTIEST place on the island but it can be nice... with the right angles. Speaking of angles, the other reason why I wanted to go to the beach park is so I could start teaching my boyfriend how to take decent pictures. It was a funny experience! The above picture was taken by my boyfriend (thanks! hehe). Anyway, after the beach park, we went to Macy's. We walked around forever and then my boyfriend bought me a pair of Betseyville shoes. They are SUPER cute (pictures soon!). After Ala Moana (mall), we went to dinner in Pearl City... before dinner though, we went to Pearlridge and I bought rings! What else? Haha! Good day, good night! I'm really going to miss this guy... and this place, but the show must go on!



this CD has been the soundtrack to my life lately


blue glass ring (swapmeet) and shell ring (artlines)


view of waikiki from ala moana beach park


two crabs in love forever

Why do you let me stay here?

I absolutely love both of these people. Plus, this song is pretty amazing. The original music video for this song is funny.

The Deadbeats

My boyfriend and I like to go to Jazzminds on Wednesday nights to listen to his friend's band, The Deadbeats. I actually really love the atmosphere at this place. No ones there to hit on girls or talk shit, everyone is just really excited to hear and dance to live music. The drinks are pretty good, although I still think $9 for a cranberry/grey goose is pricey. Cover charge is $5 but hey, there's nothing wrong with supporting local music! I'm just glad that "barefoot league" wasn't there to ruin my night. There's nothing I hate more than watching hippy dorks "dancing" barefoot. Honestly, all summer I had to deal with them and I hated it. So, if you're in Honolulu, go to Jazzminds off of Kapiolani on Wednesday nights at 10pm to watch Harumi and the Deadbeats - you'll thank me later.

Comfortable.

I'm in Hawaii trying to tie up loose ends. I'm finding it difficult to find the will to leave this place. Honestly, when I'm in San Diego, I know I'm in the right place. When I'm in Hawaii, I feel comfortable. My boyfriend and I have been talking a lot about what happens when I leave Hawaii. We've decided that after I leave Hawaii we're going on a break. We have decided to separate and figure out what will happen between us next. We both decided that living far away from each other would be a strain on our relationship. Being apart from each other will also allow us to "find" ourselves and decide what we need in our lives. As much as it will hurt to be away from him, I know this will good for me and in the long run, for us as well. I haven't been the most perfect girlfriend, nor he the most perfect boyfriend, but we have made each other happy over the past three years. There are times when I'm scared that I'm throwing away a great relationship but at the same time, I feel we owe it to ourselves to be single. We'll see where this road takes us.

I'm Back!

Let me start off by saying that my attempt to write a blog based on the daily pictures I've taken turned into more of a chore than something I enjoyed. I found it difficult at the end of my day to take the time to use my camera and dedicate time to the internet. Last semester I picked up a second job at Victoria's Secret and I also had an internship, plus school and my job at the Children's Center. So here I am, 2010 and I didn't complete what I wanted to do in the past year. I'm not going to start over but I will try to write more this year. I am at an interesting time in my life. I graduated, I lost my first job (stupid back story to this), and now I'm making my move back to San Diego. I want to be happy and free this year. 2010 started off on the wrong foot already... let's see if I can make it worth my while.

Wall of Necklaces.

Day 264
I wanted to skip Tuesday but now I'm wanting to skip Wednesday and Thursday, and head into Friday evening. I like the idea of rest. Haha Anyway, I had my friend Katie over for dinner tonight. It was a nice relaxing evening. Although, I'm a mess in the kitchen. I can't wait until all the movements come naturally. I just think it's so small and there's no where to put anything. I've decided that I need to get my finances in order. If I start now I can make my future better. I can't keep up the bad habits.